He told me it was going to be a long, hard road. Dr. Ravi wasn’t wrong. But it wasn’t nearly as hard as I was expecting. Maybe that has something to do with my type of cancer. Maybe it has a lot to do with the way people see it in books and movies. Maybe it has even more to do with me. I certainly didn’t see any positivity coming out of this journey when we first got the news. The despair and unfairness of it all was all consuming…until it wasn’t.

What good would it have done me to focus on that unfairness? People grieve differently. I chose to jump right to acceptance. The hills and valleys on this journey got a little easier. 

I’m not saying it was easy, though. Especially towards the end. The “easy chemo” turned out to be the hardest to manage. The steroids and brain fog and fatigue make for long days. Managing the side effects while still trying to be wife and mother has been a challenge, especially since I can feel how tired and worn down my body has gotten over the last year and a half.

But now I’m here. Just 5 more treatments to go. 5. I can count on one hand the number of times I have to sit in that infusion chair.

I’m ready to get back to a normal daily life but I know that it’s never going to be the same as it was. This is not a journey that has an end. All we can do is pray that the road stays straight and bump free.

If you’re wondering what’s next, there’s at least one more surgery in my future along with many, many scans. Scans for years. I’m looking forward to getting back to some semblance of myself, both physically and mentally. But we will have to stay vigilant. Cancer never rests, but neither does a warrior.