Chemo #3, round 8 of 16: done. Halfway there. It’s unreal to think that in just a couple of months I will be done with treatment. That is both the most amazing and most terrifying thought ever. I obviously don’t want to continue treatment, especially if there’s nothing for it to fight. Making myself sick for no benefit is definitely not what I want. But to not do anything seems wrong. The recurrence rate for this cancer (according to my team) is at its highest during the two years after treatment ends. That means I’ll have scans every 12 weeks during that time. That’s a lot of traveling (not to mention the cost of it) but it’s a comfort to know that we won’t become complacent. I’ll be paying attention to my body while my doctor scans what I can’t monitor. So, I guess we are doing something which is a comfort.

The closer we get to the end, the more I think about how utterly strange I’m going to feel. I won’t feel so much like a patient anymore. But I’m also not sure that I’ll be ready to let myself feel like a survivor. I still have a surgery in my future. And I have a lot of recovering to do. Between the swelling and weight gain and fatigue, my body is going to need some time. Adding in any of the other possible long term side effects from the copious amount of chemo I’ve endured makes the road seem endless. But it’s a road I get to walk. A walk that I’ve earned, one that I’m determined to enjoy. It’s going to be hard at times. But I’m here, I’m alive, and I’m strong. I didn’t ask for this journey, I didn’t pick this road – but I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m exactly where I need to be. Good things are coming.

The road ahead certainly looks a lot different than I imagined it would two years ago. It’s a lot tougher than anticipated and I’m sure there are some curves ahead that I can’t see. I’ve made it this far, though. Having the best oncology team and having the support of the most wonderful man I’ve ever met makes it seem easy sometimes. One thing can be said for a journey like this – you learn to truly appreciate the good in your life and how lucky you really are.

So for now we celebrate another clear scan and getting to the halfway point of the final phase of treatment. I got this 💪

Thank you for all the love and support. Much love to each and every one of you! And, as always, don’t forget to turn your face towards that sun and celebrate the good in your lives ❤️