I know it’s only been two months but it feels like years since I’ve been on a plane. I guess that’s what happens when you try to cram as much as you can into your days.

I’m finally feeling more like myself, more human. The fatigue isn’t gone and my taste buds still seem confused, but I have the energy and desire to do as much as possible. That sometimes means organizing and decluttering the house and sometimes it means ignoring the laundry to play card games with my kids. But enjoying life is always my top priority, especially when I don’t have side effects to battle.

I have, however, been struggling a bit with my new reality. I talk about winning battles and checking things off, but I forget that this is going to be a lifelong fight. Just because I’m NED (no evidence of disease) now doesn’t mean it’s permanent. It came out of nowhere so who’s to say that won’t happen again? I don’t tell myself this to undo all the light and positivity I’ve worked hard to bring into my life. I simply need to keep myself grounded. I’ve caught myself wondering about what my obituary will say, what photos will be at my wake, how old my kids will be when they have to say their final goodbyes. That last one is what keeps me fighting, keeps my will strong and unwavering. Even though I have no clue if and when this beast may come back, there is one thing I do know: I will never stop fighting.

So tomorrow we scan again and pray that the chemo continued to kill any stray cells that could be floating around. Then we will talk with the doctor Friday about the next steps. The weight/swelling hasn’t budged so I may have to endure another lecture. But considering everything else I’ve endured so far, that’s nothing. My body is doing amazing things, and if it needs to hold onto some extra pounds to do battle, so be it.

Please keep the prayers and thoughts coming! Much love to you all ❤️