These last couple of weeks have felt like quite the whirlwind. Returning from Houston, summer coming to an end, school starting, and cycle 3 of chemo! I am officially halfway done with this chemotherapy regimen! You can’t see it but I’m doing a little happy dance. Feel free to join me!

Cycle 3 really gave me a run for my money, though. My numbers were good enough that I was able to ask my local oncologist to give me the full dose of gemcitabine (which I haven’t had since the first day of the first cycle). I was pretty exhausted for a few days but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. My levels were high enough on day 8 to maintain the full dose of gemcitabine and get the full dose of the docetaxel. That combo KICKED my butt. I slept a lot and didn’t feel so great. It also turns out that I picked up a virus from one of my kiddos which just increased my fatigue and body aches exponentially. Luckily, the timing was right because I got sick before my levels were affected by the chemo; my immune system hadn’t yet checked out and was able to fight off whatever mysterious “first week of school” virus that made its way home.

If I had the choice, would I ask for the full doses again? Yeah, yeah I would. I want to do anything and everything I can to get rid of this thing. I would, however, be a bit more prepared and a lot more realistic about how I was going to feel. Thankfully, I have a husband (and kids) who aren’t afraid to tell me to just sit down when I need it. That’s who I fight for. Those are my reasons for enduring the poison and the scans and the surgeries and all of it. So, yes, I’d absolutely speak up and ask again for as much as they can give me. I’ve got plans that I don’t want to miss. Graduations and weddings and grandbabies and vacations. A little bit of toxic medicine doesn’t seem like much of a trade if you ask me.

Sitting back is something I feel like I do a lot lately. Not swimming in the lake, not riding the bike, not staying up late, this list keeps getting longer. Cancer keeps trying to steal my time and our fun. But I won’t let it. I just have to find different ways to make the fun happen. Did the kids and I shoot tiny rubber chickens at each other today instead of doing the dishes? You bet your Aunt Fanny we did. Did we make silly faces and dance around the house singing together? Of course. I still try to do the normal stuff. We took the kids apple picking on Sunday but I had to do a lot more resting than picking (or at least that’s how it felt). But we picked apples and rode the hayride and took pictures and ate donuts. And, for a little while, I almost forgot I even have cancer. Sometimes, sitting even makes it so that the happiness jumps right into my lap. Ask my kids, it’s one of their favorite spots.

So, if you’re feeling miserable or sick or sad or tired, find happiness where you can. It may not always come in the same way or the same form, but it’s there if you look for it. Snuggles, smiles, beautiful weather, a good book, a great song, a fresh cup of coffee. Take the joy when it comes, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. It just might help you forget to be unhappy.

PS For anyone that’s maybe been wondering, I still have hair! Ha! It’s thinned out a great deal but I don’t need my “Bald Is Beautiful” sash yet.