Cancer causes a lot of changes to life. Small changes like what you eat, how you do your hair (or lack thereof), how often you nap. But also big changes like not being able to work, living apart from your family, how you plan for the future. It changes your body, the way it looks and feels. Things like colds and mystery bruises become something to really worry about. You begin to see and think of yourself differently. I hardly recognize myself some days. “Cancer patient” becomes an identity, especially as you walk around with no hair or eyebrows and people stare. 

Dr. Ravi told me that, during treatment, I’m in battle mode and he asked me not to worry about the way I look. I’ll admit that has turned out to be harder than I expected. There’s nothing about my body/face that hasn’t changed a little. Well, everything but my smile. And I try to wear that as much as I can.

Cancer has also, seemingly, changed the way I look at my life and love each day. I am, by far, more optimistic that I once was. I would often jump to the “worst case scenario” when something happened. Now, I try to let go of the stress and that kind of worry. No matter what comes, I’m sure that I can handle it. I am also even more grateful that I already was for my life. I knew my husband was wonderful before, but the way he’s stood by my side from the very beginning shows me just how amazing he really is. The resilience and love my kids have shown just blows me away. The support our families have given us by taking care of my kiddos when I can’t or being in Houston with me during treatment has made it possible for me to be treated in one of the best cancer centers in the world. My friends have also really stepped up and I feel so lucky to have them.in my corner.

One of the changes I am most thankful for is the people that have been brought into my life. The doctors and nurses, obviously, but also the fellow warriors I’ve met. Some are also patients at MD Anderson, others are from back home. Regardless of how we met, I am truly happy to have connected with these women who understand the struggles and triumphs of fighting cancer. Our fight may not be exactly the same, but our enemy is. And I feel stronger knowing that we fight together.

Change is the only thing I can be sure of right now when it comes to the cancer. So I’m going to continue adapting and rolling with the punches. I’ll keep my eyes open for the good changes while I manage the others. That’s all we warriors can do sometimes. 

Quick update on radiation and the mystery bum lump (haha):
Radiation is going well. They added in a few extra scans but it only added a few more minutes to each appointment, thankfully. No noticeable side effects yet!
My biopsy has been scheduled for March 26th. Results take about a week from what I can tell. I’m not going to sweat it until we know what’s going on. For now, it’s just another test in a long list.

Sending my love to you all! Thank you for all the prayers and check-ins ❤️