As expected, my levels dropped critically low again and I need another transfusion. So I am currently in the hospital, staring down four hours of just sitting  around. Hopefully I will walk out of here not feeling quite so cruddy, though.
Every time we come back from Texas, it takes some time to settle back into our “normal.” It usually only takes a couple of days, but it bothers me a little bit more each time. Before the diagnosis, I knew who I was and what I needed to be doing at all times. I was a wife, a mother, and a preschool teacher. Now I’m a wife and mother with cancer. Before, I knew what to expect, had a routine, a list of “normal” things to get done, a schedule. I don’t have that luxury or control anymore. 
Cancer has been stealing away days and moments since this all started. I have missed holidays, exciting moments, regular moments, school events, all sorts of things. I have felt and mourned each one. But now, the kids are really starting to feel them too; they are beginning to understand the impact this disease is having on us as a family. The disappointment I see on their faces when I have to keep saying “I’m sorry, I can’t…” hurts my heart. But they’re understanding and forgiveness gives me the strength to push past that hurt and keep fighting.
Angiosarcoma may be stealing these things away from us now, but I’m going to steal them back along with so many more. I’m not just fighting for me – I fight for them, for us.